If You Just Need a Laugh...., My Writing

A Compilation of Funny Stuff ~ In Which I Make Myself Laugh

If you scroll through my profile on the Young Writers’ Workshop (which is a Christian website for writers and the best place in the world, fight me), you will find that the vast majority of my posts are made for humor purposes. So, I thought I’d gather a few of the funniest posts (at least, in my opinion), and put them in a blog post.

For funsies.

So, without further ado, here we go!

1. My Sister’s First Parody

My sister is singing about lemons to the tune of Let It Go.

I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO SAY became LEMONS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SWEET

HERE I STAND AND HERE I’LL STAY became HERE I STAND WITH A LEMON IN MY HAND

THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY became LEMONS NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY

What do I do with her?

(One of the comments read “Get her a contract and get this show on the road.” and I laughed out loud when I read it XD)

2. A Time When I Was a Mood

Me: *turns around slowly in swivel chair, laughing evilly*

Also me: *almost faceplants into wall*

(Faceplant into the wall if you feel me!!)

3. I Discover Something Amazing in Minecraft

Ooh! There’s a door!! It has a doorknob!!

-Mia Harden, 2020

(I was delirious)

4. My Brother Stars in the Humor

Bro: That was the coolest thing I’ve done since the 1960s!!

Me: What’d you do in the 1960s?

Bro: I have no idea!!

(He was born in 2006)

5. The Super-Long Skyblock Saga

Me playing Skyblock:

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

WindyWonderland tried to swim in lava

WindyWonderland was slain by MineCraftHorseM (my brother)

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: I GOT THE DOOR HAAHA

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: *hovering around lava* I have the door…..

MineCraftHorseM fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

MineCraftHorseM fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

MineCraftHorseM fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

MineCraftHorseM fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: I HAVE A DIRT BLOCK OH MY—

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Bro: DIE DIE DIE

Me: YOU JUST MADE ME PUSH THE VILLAGER OFF!!!

Bro: Wait what?

Me: He’s gone.

Bro:

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

*hilarious cackling*

Me: Oh shoot—

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

PrincessJewel08 (my sister) joined the game

Me: *stands on chest* This is my home.

Bro: *pushes me off*

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Sis: DUDE YOU KICKED THE SAPLING

PrincessJewel08 fell out of the world

Bro: Don’t kill me!!

Sis: Fine, I’ll kill Mia.

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Bro: GO AWAY MIA

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Sis: GO AWAY MIA

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: *whenever something crazy happens* I’M GOING TO MY HOUSE *stands poutily on chest*

LittleBro joined the game

Sis and Bro: *intelligently discussing houses*

Me: i fell in lava

WindyWonderland tried to swim in lava

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Bro: I just saved your life, Mia.

Me: YOU PUNCHED ME OUT OF THE WORLD

Wait, now LittleBro has no face.

I am concerned.

Me: I’m climbing a treeeeee

Me:

Me: I FELL OUT OF A TREE

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Bro: THE DOOR IS MINE

Me: NO IT’S MINE!!! I EARNED IT!!! IT’S MY MOST PRIZED POSSESION

PrincessJewel08 fell out of the world

Me: *steals cocoa beans* I HAVE THE COCOA

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: *stands on the door* I’m the roof.

Bro: Hi Rufus.

Me: *dies laughing*

Bro: My inventory is almost full. OF FLOWERS

Me: Yay!! I’ll take them!!!

Me: My one rose needs a frie—

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

All of us: *teleport back from the End*

Me: SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Me: AAA—

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: IT’S GREEN

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Sis: I’M GOING TO GO STEAL YOUR ROSES

Me: NO YOU CAN’T STEAL MY ROOMBAS

Me: Wait, I have Roombas?

PrincessJewel08 fell out of the world

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Me: *twenty blocks away*

Me: I’M OUT OF BLOCKS

Bro: I have some dirt!!

Me: Yeah! Throw it over!

Bro: *throws dirt into the void*

Me: SAVE THE ENDANGERED DIRT MONSTER

WindyWonderland fell out of the world

Thus concludes a productive day of Skyblock.

(If any of that made remote sense, let me know XD I still laugh out loud when I read this)

6. Personality Tests Know Me

Me: *taking a personality test*

Test: Do you feel that you are an unusual sort of person?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: I’M AN WRITER HONEY YUS

(I’m also a band kid and a theater kid, and all three of those rolled into one is probably not a good thing TBH)

7. Out of Context Quotes

This is a serious trend on the Young Writers’ Workshop Community, and I have quite a few.

(HorseGirl, SpeedRead, and LoudMouth are nicknames for my siblings)

“You know left, but not right.” -Dad

“Don’t check you brain out on the way in.” -Mom

“You don’t deserve to throw things!” -Mom

“Don’t sit at me in that tone of voice!” -Me

“I’m stuck on my back like a turtle!!” -HorseGirl

“No, I said Kylo Grin!” -LoudMouth

“When we get home, he’s just there.” -SpeedRead

“We must kill Hylo Pen!” -SpeedRead

“I wasn’t necessarily the one being dumb.” -SpeedRead

8. An Actual Conversation That I Had With My Brother

“Yay! Stony bacon!”

“How could you not love stony bacon? Stony bacon’s the best!!”

-Me and my brother, 2020

(Once again, we were in Minecraft)

9. I’m Still Unsure of the Answer to This One

My two-year-old brother is going around the house singing my name, and I’m not sure if I should be flattered, or fearful.

(Nothing happened, so I guess I should be flattered?)

10. I Have News For Y’all

So, my sister’s an arsonist.

(It was just in Minecraft, no worries)

11. My Brother, the Master Philosopher

You guys, my brother is a master philosopher!

“Apparently, if you jump off the edge of the world, you die!”

Who would have guessed?

(I think he was playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 when he said that, but I can’t be sure. With my brother, you never know)

12. Apparently I Can Be a Mood Multiple Times!

Me: *playing MineCraft, acting all professional*

Also me: *gets attacked by a zombie, forgets how to fight, and starts slapping everything with a raw chicken*

(Seriously though.)

13. More Minecraft Funny Quote Stuffs

Bro, playing MineCraft, looking for a Drowned, but only seeing a Salmon: Huh. He disappeared.

Me: Well, that sure is fishy!

Bro:

Me: You totally set me up for that.

(He never found that Drowned, BTW)

14. I Have Strange Cousins

My 17-year-old cousin singing “Into the Unknown”: *screams like there’s no tomorrow*

My sisters: Shut up, Jordan!!

(He didn’t, and they got mad and slammed the door)

15. My Parents Have Many Things on Their Minds (But They’re Still the Besssst!!)

Dad: OH NO!!!!

Me: *instantly concerned, thinking there might be a major spill or something somewhere* What?!!

Dad: We’re out of Reddi Whip!!

Mom: OH NO!!!

Me: 😑

16. We Take What We Can Get

Dad: *checking weather*

Weather: 20 degrees with a 1% chance of snow

Me: OH MY GOODNESS IT’S GOING TO SNOW?!!!!

(Hey, here in the South, we take what we can get.)

(It didn’t actually snow though)

17. WordPress Stars In a Post on WordPress

Me trying to figure out WordPress:

What does this button do?

OH!

Wait, what?

Ohhhh!!

Where has this been all my life?

*bangs head repeatedly on desk*

HELP!!

I did it!!

WAIT, DON’T PUBLISH!!!!

(I have mostly figured out WordPress, now. Maybe)

Here are a few funny posts from one of my snippet serieses called Queens, about twelve sisters and a bunch of sarcasm.

Queens:

MistleFoe

Alex: Is this mistletoe?

Sage: Uh, no, it’s Mistlefoe. Instead of kisses, whoever walks under it has to fight each other.

Sage: *steps under the Mistlefoe*

Sage: Uh oh. Looks like someone’s halls are getting –

Sage: – decked

Sage: *attacks Alex*

Queens:

Identical Problems

Rose: Sometimes I just feel so ugly.

Sage: Okay, now that’s just rude.

Rose: What? I wasn’t talking about you.

Sage: We’re identical twins. You expect me to not get offended?

Rose:

Rose: Yes?

Queens:

War!!

Treble: *trips*

Indi: You okay?

Treble: Yeah, why?

Indi: Didn’t you just fall?

Treble: No, I attacked the floor. *rolls eyes and walks away*

Queens:

Shopping With Sage

Tansy: Now, when we get to the store, what are you not going to do?

Sage:*sighs* I’m not going to put the Halloween masks on and chase people around.

Tansy: And if for some reason you do?

Sage: You’ll handcuff me to the shopping cart. Again.

And these next ones are from the spin-off series of Queens, Power Bros!

Power Bros!

Alex: Ben, I was thinking.

Ben: That is a dangerous pastime, especially for you.

Alex: Well, yeah. I was bored.

Ben: Shocker.

Alex: I started spelling things backward.

Ben: Why on earth–?

Alex: I was bored. Anyway, I saw your laptop across the room, and–

Ben: whAt dID yOu dO To My lApTop?!!

Alex: Nothing. But, I did discover that laptop spelled backwards is potpal, and I’m not sure what to do with this information.

LATER

Alex: Hey Sophie, wanna know how I killed Ben with a simple bit of trivia?

Power Bros!

Alex: *checking his reflection* Lookin’ fine, my man!

Alex: I know. I always look this good.

Alex: Well, congratulations! I look this good half the time.

Alex: I’m so sorry to hear that. Maybe you should just stop trying.

Alex: I’ve already tried that. My friend Ben suggested it.

Alex: And?

Alex: It didn’t work.

Alex: Well, I’m sorry to hear that.

Alex: I guess we can’t all be flawless.

Alex: It’s just a choice few.

Alex: Like you and Mason.

Alex: Ugh. Mason. He’s so stuck up.

Alex: Tell me about it. And I have to live with him.

Alex: Boy, that sucks.

Alex: I knowwwwww. He smells like Mabel.

Alex: Who on earth is Mabel? Your grandmother?

Alex: My great grandmother’s old donkey.

Alex: How old?

Alex: Dirt old. By which I mean she’s dead and buried.

Alex: Oof. What a stench.

Alex: He stinks up the entire apartment. And when he cooks, it’s even worse.

Alex: You poor boy.

Alex: I know. Sometimes I wish I could live in the mirror world with you. *wipes away fake tear*

Mason: *has been standing in the doorway this whole time* Are you…..talking to yourself?

Alex: I was until you interrupted.

Power Bros!

Sophie: *invites The Bros over for dinner with her and the monkeys*

Paul the Monkey: *is being monkey-ie*

Sophie: Don’t mind Paul. He’s a little wild.

Paul: *confused monkey sounds*

Alex: Is it safe to have a monkey around an open fire?

Sophie: *glances at fireplace* Yeah, sure.

Paul: *satisfied monkey sounds*

Ben: *is devouring food*

Alex: *starts devouring food*

Paul: *bored monkey sounds*

Paul: *intrigued monkey sounds*

Paul: *curious monkey sounds*

Paul: *excited monkey sounds*

Fireplace: *clanks*

Alex: Um….Sophie?

Paul: *annoyed monkey sounds*

Alex: Sophie, Paul is–

Paul: *impatient monkey sounds*

Fireplace: *clanks*

Alex: Sophie, you really need to see what Paul is doing.

Paul: *investigative monkey sounds*

Paul: *freaked out monkey sounds*

Sophie: He’s fine.

Alex: I disagree.

Fire Alarm: *goes off*

Paul: *slightly concerned monkey sounds*

Raging Fire: *crackles*

Sophie: Is it just me, or is it a little warm in here?

Alex: DO YOU NOT HEAR THE FIRE ALARM GOING OFF?!!!!

Power Bros!

Ben: Alex, why is the floor soaking wet and covered with muffin crumbs and ice cream?

Alex: Well, I was eating a muffin, and Florence the floor was jealous, so I dropped some crumbs for her. Then, Carl the carpet wanted some ice cream, so I gave him some. Then, they were thirsty, so I drizzled some water on top of them. Then, Celia the ceiling wanted some water, so I threw a bowl up at her, but Walter the water rained down on top of my head, and Larry the lamp laughed at us.

Ben:

Ben:

Ben:

Ben: Ignorance is bliss.

Power Bros!

Andrew: *appears in the doorway of the bathroom* What’s with the llamas?

Alex: Llamas?

Andrew: Yes. Llamas. In the bathroom. One pooped in the tub.

Alex: *snorts*

Andrew: WELL???

Alex: Ask Sophie.

Andrew: What would she know about it?

Alex: She’s the one who is freakishly obsessed with wild creatures.

Sophie: *comes out of the other bathroom* What’s with the llamas?

Alex: I think that’s a question only you can answer.

Sophie:

Sophie:

Sophie: *smashes through window* YOU’LL NEVER KNOWWWWWWWwwwwww

Alex:

Andrew:

Alex: Let’s call Animal Control.

Andrew: For the llamas?

Alex: They’re welcome to take care of that while they’re here.

Well, I hope some of those made you laugh, or made your day better! I made myself laugh while going through these XD

Which one(s) were your favorite?

Thanks for reading!

If You Just Need a Laugh...., Miscellaneous, The Animals

A Pretty Big Project ~ In Which My Goats Are Cooler Than I Thought They Were

How many people here live in a house?

*hands raise*

Okay, looks like everyone except the hobo in the back. That’s cool, bro, you’re welcome here.

Anyways, my grandparents made the momentous decision to move to our neighborhood, which is easier said than done. First of all, they lived an hour away from us, and second of all, there aren’t any vacant houses in our neighborhood.

I guess that’s what happens when you live in the country.

But, that meant they had to get a house built before they could even start packing boxes.

Thank goodness for mobile homes! Or whatever they are. I’m no expert.

They bought a gorgeous triple-wide house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It’s really nice, and the rooms are pretty good sizes.

It was an exciting day for us Hardens when the movers brought the three pieces to the yard. The site was pretty much right in our backyard, which had been chosen after much searching and some precipitation problems. (This place loves to collect rain 😑) (Not gonna lie, though, it’s nice having them about 50 yards from the house, even though that wasn’t the original plan) We all piled outside and stood (at a safe distance, of course) to watch the guys get the house ready.

Up until then, I thought that moving a mobile home to the spot was all there was to it. You just stuck the house on the site, and it was ready for living in.

That’s not how it works, apparently.

It took several days for them to get the house in place and all attached without any cracks or holes or stuff. And then, after that, GUESS WHAT?!! The electricians had to come in and electrify the place, and the carpenters had to come in and carpenter a front porch, and all those great builder-ly people had to do their builder-ly work to get the place ready.

It was a happy day for everyone when the house was proclaimed COMPLETED!!! (Mostly)

*cue the party music and confetti*

But, the next stage of moving them here was about to commence.

BOXES

Boxes are scary. I remember when my family moved when I was seven. (Or eight. I don’t remember) We were unpacking for months. And then, several years later, my mom found a box that had never been unpacked. It was like a treasure chest.

Or, a treasure diaper box? LOL

Anyways, my grandparents have a lot of stuff. A vast majority of it is delicate and/or breakable and/or has some kind of memory attached to it. A couple of weeks before they moved, before we knew the official date, me, my parents, and three of my siblings went to their house and took a whole bunch of boxes and outside furniture and put them in the shed they had put near their new house.

That was definitely not the longest day ever

And then, the Saturday before they were going to officially move to their new house, five cars, all loaded with boxes, drove into the drive.

Unloading took awhile. I got out of most of it because I had a class on Zoom. I never dreamed that school would be a fun excuse, but here we are. The house was so full of boxes. The kitchen was one massive sea of boxes, and the dining room table was piled high. It was, like, Mount Boxmore.

I’m so sorry. Puns hurt.

And then, the Monday afterwards, the momentous day arrived.

Moving day.

*heroic fanfare*

Two massive U-Haul trucks were parked in the drive for most of the day. You know, those trucks that look pretty short from certain angles, but when you step inside, it’s like Narnia on wheels? Those massive trucks.

The three movers were nice guys. They did their job well, and took great care of all the stuff. (Which is important, because the grandfather clocks my grandparents have appear to be a whit pricy) Also, one of the movers is also a paramedic. Go figure.

Quick storytime real quick!

Oh, look at that, I ended a sentence with the same word I started it with.

So, I walked outside to our goat pen, which is across the road from my grandparents house. I was just going to visit Jack, you know?

Because how on earth can you not go visit this little nugget?!!

I was in the pen for awhile, and I inadvertently herded the goats closer to the road, where they’re easy to see from the yard. Well, I left the goat pen and went to the house, where the movers were hard at work. Then, two of them stopped working, pulled out their phones, and walked over to the edge of the road.

To take pictures of these guys!

Donald and Kevin, our resident Billies. They’re pretty big, but they’re so sweet. They don’t use those horns to harm anyone except the other goats that they live with but we’re not going there. They were just grazing in view, and apparently, the movers had never been around such big goats.

So, yeah, they were famous for some time.

Actually, the guys wanted their picture made next to the goats, but it got too dark.

So yeah, that was our storytime for today, kids. The moral is, don’t let anyone hold you back from your dreams, unless it is the darkness, because the darkness is all-powerful, and is to be feared.

I’m just kidding, of course. Don’t ever take me seriously, unless you should take me seriously.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, boxes. And furniture and stuff.

It took several hours to get all the furniture into place, and the movers didn’t leave until seven or eight o’clock. And then, we moved boxes out of the kitchen to the correct rooms until ten o’clock. I was so tired out. I even had a headache, which does not happen often. But, I felt much better after a good night’s sleep.

So yeah, now our grandparents are moved in right next to us. We’ve spent a lot of our free time at their house unpacking, but it’s not horrible. There are so many treasures to be found.

Have you guys ever moved? What was that like? Do you have grandparents living near you?

Thanks for reading!

If You Just Need a Laugh....

Merry Christmas!! ~ In Which I Ran Out of Time to Actually Write a Real Post, So I Wrote This Instead

What’s up, me homies? What is that intro? Good heavens.

Anyways, Christmas is today!! *cheers* Yeah! Woo! Woo-Hoo! As you’re reading this, I’ve probably already opened all my presents, and am now raiding my siblings’ stashes. Donuts and pigs-in-a-blanket, y’know, all the feels. Being sleep-deprived, deliriously happy…..

Sorry, I’m rambling. I’m so excited!! It’s only a couple of days before Christmas as I’m writing this, and our tree is drowning in presents. Our puppy, Cookie, is incredibly confused as to why he can’t attack the colorful wrapping paper. Oh well. He’ll learn! 😅

I can promise you guys that I will be up at 5:30 AM, waiting for my parents and siblings to wake up so we can storm the living room.

Anywho, Merry Christmas, and for you folks reading this after Christmas….um…..Merry Christmas!! I hope you all have a fantastic day, and get all the things on your lists!

See ya later!

Mia

P.S. If y’all want me to show you what I got, let me know! I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging, but if it’s something you want to see, I’m all for it!